Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be a wife at age 21. When I was just entering my double-digit years, I told people that I didn't want to get married until I was 26 or 27 years old. I was definitely one of those young ladies who judged others really harshly when they got married before they were 23 years old (why that specific age, I have no idea). But honestly, who wants to sign their life away when they still have so much life to live?
Apparently, I do.
My husband and I met way back in the day. I was 12 years old, and he was just about to head off to college in Germany. I'll let you do the math on that one. When he thinks back, he barely remembers meeting me. He knows that he met my Mama and her kids, but doesn't remember me specifically. Me on the other hand, I remember him very well. I would say my mother made it very hard for me to forget Mr. Scott Johnston. That very evening, we were driving away from the church, and as a 12 year old my mother turned to me and said, "Honey, I could see you marrying someone like Scott someday." This woman must have had the gift of prophecy. My 12 year old self still hated boys, and couldn't believe that my own mother would be pushing a boy, no, a man, into my personal life already. I thought she was crazy.
We started dating when I was 18 years old. I guess mom wasn't so crazy, I just had to grow up about 6 years. Scott and I dated for 2 years, and on that 2 year mark, he asked me to marry him, and I enthusiastically said yes. I knew I wanted to marry that boy about 4 months in, let alone 2 years. And then all the questioning began.
"Wait, you said you wouldn't get married young." "Are you ready to give up the rest of your life?" "How do you know he's the one?" "You've only really dated one other person, you need more experience."
All of these thoughts started swirling through my brain about a week after the engagement. I couldn't believe I was "that girl." I'm a theatre major! I'm supposed to move to New York and do the starving artist thing right? I'm supposed to have a few messed up relationships before settling down with the man of my dreams. I needed more experience in the real world before I got stuck somewhere I didn't want to be.
At least, that's what I thought.
Then I came to a realization. Life experience is defined differently for every single person on this planet. Life experiences are shaped so much by our individual needs, desires, and worldviews. Who says that life has to be experienced alone? No one. No one actually stated that as a general rule of life. What if I wanted to experience my life the way God intended, but with another person cheering me on? Why would I want to go through struggles alone, when I know this man so near and dear to my heart would push me toward Christ in every difficult situation? And what better way to figure out how to live with a kind and gentle spirit, than by sharing your good and bad moments with someone who cares for you deeply and honestly?
Maybe this marriage thing isn't such a bad idea.
Now, I'm not saying that getting married young is the absolute best thing in the world and everyone should do it. Having a forever connection with someone else's heart is not every 21 year old's strength. But, there are a few of them out there that have actually weighed the cost, and find that they would rather have the freedom to grow in a Godly partnership instead of the freedom to grow alone. I don't know about others, but I still am pursuing my dreams as an actor in ministry, and my husband supports me all the way.
Are we scared out of our minds to see what the future holds under the umbrella of two pastors' salaries? Yes. Are we nervous about bringing children into this world and raising them well in a comfortable home? Who wouldn't be? Do we regret getting married because the hardships we know are coming around the corner? Absolutely not. We would rather find our strengths and weaknesses together, than take the longer, harder solo path. We're going to make some mistakes, but we will make them together. We've thought this through, and we love our frugal lives.
What's more, is that we have had the full support of both of our families, as well as every single pastor in our church. If we didn't have that support, we would not have made such a permanent decision at such a young age. We sought the counsel of many amazing and wise people before deciding that marriage was definitely in our future. Marriage without complete support from loved one's is always difficult, no matter what age you are. However, when you're 21, and everyone around you approves of your marriage, it's a pretty fantastic feeling. God may have had something up his sleeve since I was 12 years old. And here we are, married and joyful and young and content all at the same time.
So, the next time you find someone married in their early 20's, be wary of the first judgement you may make. Just because someone may seem young, does not necessarily mean they are naive to the choice that they have made in their life partner. From my own personal experience, being 21 and wed is pretty much amazing.
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