Sorry I can't, Its Friday

Every single one of us looks forward to Friday. Friday is the best day of the week. It marks the end of a work week, and the beginning of a time of restoration for our weary minds and bodies. Leave the office around 5pm, and your freedom awaits!

Fridays are a bit different for us in the Johnston home.

We like to work hard, and in ministry, the work never stops. If you wanted to go through an actual work-week schedule, I have an example of one right here. We are always available, and at a church like Bayside, plans change for even the biggest events at the drop of a hat. When we aren't at work, conversations are about ministry and solving problems. There have been seasons when I have worked 26 days in a row without a day off, and in some circles, that kind of martyrdom is celebrated. In the intimate circle of marriage, that concept can be more destructive than anything else. After almost two years of living together as hard-working perfectionists, Scott and I have realized something big: if we aren't careful, we can go a full week without seeing each other for more than a few hours total. How sad is that? We live together as man and wife, we won't see each other until we go to bed, and we're too tired to do anything else.

In the past couple of months, I have personally felt the heaviness of that loneliness more than ever. What's funny, is that our busiest season was over mid-January, and yet this burden is just now starting to really take its tole. It has affected me emotionally and physically, which in turn affects Scott in a big way. To be fair, I am more of a workaholic than Scott is, and I'm the first one to admit it. That in itself brings on the guilt and shame of not being a good enough wife, a good enough encourager, or a good enough life partner. I shut down, I become irritable, I don't want intimacy, and I just want to sleep. It is very clear to me that something has got to change.

So, starting just a few weeks ago, I had to switch my mentality. Fridays are not extra work days, it is a part of my personal "weekend" and I can't feel guilty for taking my Friday off while so many others continue to slave away. Instead of always being available, no matter what the circumstances, I must practice the word NO much more often. Fridays are my "no" days. I'm putting into practice what so many people have tried to tell me all these years, because my over-commitment and my perfectionism no longer affect just me, they are Scott's burdens too. It's not fair to be a martyr when you never asked to be one, and though he supports me through and through, Scott does not deserve the craziness that comes with non-stop work.

Fridays at the Johnston home are very special days. We say no to the world around us, and take time to just be. We stay in our pj's until we can't stand it anymore. We are very picky about the things we say yes to on a Friday, because it has to be something that we both want to do. We realize there are some Fridays in our work that we can't control; events and circumstances that make us work on Friday that we can't step away from. But during the normal weeks, no matter how crazy our schedule is, we can always guarantee that we'll spend great quality time together for at least one solid day.

• Did I not answer your email? Probably a Friday

• Left me a voicemail and haven't heard back? It's Friday

• Have a project that you want to talk to me about? Let's meet Saturday, but not on Friday

• Girl's night out? If Scott's out of town, then we can plan for Friday

How do you clear your mind of the work week? When do you get quality time with your loved ones? Please give me more ideas!