I get it all the time...
"What? I would have never pegged you as an introvert."
"I'm an introvert, with a professional practice in extrovertedness." I regularly use that sentence to describe myself. People are astonished when they hear that I am actually a quiet and contemplative kind of person, when I don't seem to fit the mold of what they think an introvert looks like.
Today, I want to break apart that mold a little bit.
Lets start with the stereo-typical picture of an introvert, shall we? When we think of an introverted person, we think of a small personality. Someone who doesn't like big crowds. Someone who works alone in the corner when everyone else is having a discussion around a center table. Someone who would rather talk to their plants, or play video games, instead of interact with a large group. We tend to think of introverts as very intelligent, socially awkward people, who are almost afraid of other human beings, and are too shy for their own good. While there are beautiful people in this world that are accurately described by all of these things, this is not the only description of an introvert.
Being an introvert versus an extrovert actually has little to do about whether or not you like people. I know a lot of extroverts who can be quite disagreeable, and act like the whole world is against them. Instead, the scale of "extrovertedness", as I like to say, has more to do with how you re-charge your batteries after a long day rather than your love of other people. True extroverts are energized by being with friends and having conversations. Introverts are energized by quiet moments, and having time to themselves.
My husband is very much an extrovert. He loves coming home to a group of people waiting in the living room, playing card games and eating dinner together. He hates staying home on his day off, and would much rather go out and do something to feel like he really took advantage of his free time. I, on the other hand, react very differently in that situation. After I have had a long day, the last thing I want to do is have conversations with multiple people, and be in a loud group of friends playing games. I would much rather come home and watch TV, or blog, or listen to music while I cook dinner. On my day off, I wouldn't mind just staying in my PJ's all day and hanging out in the living room with absolutely no plans at all.
But here's the real kicker: just because I like to be alone, doesn't mean I don't like being around people. It took me a long time to accept myself as being an introvert, and it's because I didn't fully understand this concept. In high-school, I truly believed in the stereotype, especially because I was that kid who did her Algebra 2 homework in the library at lunch instead of hang out in the amphitheater. I didn't want to be "pegged" as an introvert. I wanted people to love me as much as I loved them, so I forced myself to be extroverted to the point of burn out. I was so tired all the time, and I couldn't understand why. Now, I know it was because I wasn't taking care of myself in the way that I needed to. I needed to recharge in a quiet place, and I wasn't allowing myself to do that because I thought it was lame. Acknowledging the introvert inside of you isn't lame, it actually helps you interact with people much better than you could if you ignored it.
My livelihood depends on my ability to interact well with other people. Whether it's acting in a show, or leading a team in ministry, if I don't love the people I am around, I will loathe my job. The great thing is that I truly LOVE people! I love hearing people's stories, and I love getting to lead teams of amazing humans who are passionate about their gifts. I love advocating for new ideas, and I love deep discussions about pretty much anything.
I just know this about myself: after a full day of loving amazing people, I have to know how to love myself, so that my tank is full for loving more people the next day. Introverts can lead, can be exciting, can be adventurous, can have loud laughs, can engage in conversations, and can even be in front of a crowd of 2,000 people on a stage. We just have to take care of ourselves in a way that may look isolating. Sometimes, that means taking my lunch break alone so that I can be fully alert and engaged for an evening of teaching. It could mean choosing to stay home and take a bath while some of my friends go out for karaoke on a Saturday night. Whatever it looks like, I have now truly embraced my introverted self, because it helps me become a better lover of humanity. My friends and family are all very aware of when I am done "people-ing" for the day, and I need some quiet time. They respect that of me, just as I respect the times when they really just need someone to come over and chat with them after a crazy day.
Introvert, extrovert, whatever you are, both are acceptable and beautiful. Both have their purpose in this world. Be proud of it, embrace it, and you will be a happier human, I promise.
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